Everything I have ever read or heard about marriage says that you have to work to keep the love alive. It just doesn't stay new and sparkly and lively all on it's own. It takes care and feeding and nurturing. I takes *choosing* it every single day.
As I continue to take this journey of life, I have come to realize this is even more true when it comes to loving myself. When I finally started loving myself, the work wasn't over. I don't just get to close the door on that particular path of personal growth and consider myself "done". I don't believe we are ever done with personal growth, especially in the area of loving ourselves or good self-care. I think we can get better and better to stepping back into the light when the demons take hold. I think we can learn to hear, but not believe the inner critical voices that tell us negative things about ourselves. I have learned to transform that bitchy voice that tells me I am not good enough. She used to have my voice, but now she sounds like a generic old hag... she is someone else, not me.
But not listening... not believing the inner critic. It takes *work*. I have to make a conscious choice sometimes. When I am doing really well, I can dismiss the thoughts so easily, I hardly notice I had them. But some days I have to be my own cheerleader. Some days I have to ask my best friend to give me a pep talk. Asking for help doesn't mean I can't take care of "my stuff" on my own. Asking for help *IS* taking good care of myself. It means I know when I need support. How much more loving can I be than that?
Love is a choice. People have flaws. When I love someone, I can see past the flaws to the beauty, strength, joy, humor and love that lay beneath the flaws. I can forgive the little annoyances because the rest is worth it. It's sometimes a little harder to apply the same standards to myself as I do the others I love in my life, but that is my goal each day.
I choose to accept that I am not perfect. I can embrace my beauty, strength, joy, humor and love even while working to improve upon my flaws. I choose love.
